


morning wood

by waveydnp



Series: tumblr prompts [6]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-03 00:55:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17274071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waveydnp/pseuds/waveydnp
Summary: prompt: "please put your penis away"





	morning wood

Phil wakes up hard.

It’s not that weird, he’s woken up hard pretty much every morning since he was eleven. It’d taken him a few years to figure out what to do about it, but ever since he had he’s become an expert at relieving that particular kind of discomfort. He can get the job done in a minute and a half if he really needs to, especially when he’s only half awake and not alert enough to let anxiety get in the way.

He’s still only half awake, but the anxiety is already there, because this morning is different. Very different. 

He’s not alone. There’s another person in his bed. A very hot, very shirtless person with whom he’s spent the better part of the last two days furiously making out with.

No touching though, besides the occasional aborted dry hump that they’d both apparently chosen not to address. Phil feels like he’s been hard for about a century and he hasn’t gone this long without a wank in years. He kind of feels like his dick is going to explode, actually, and not in a good way.

He turns his head on the pillow. Dan is curled up in a ball on the other side of the bed, clearly still deeply asleep. It’s early in the morning and they’d stayed up obscenely late just talking. And laughing. And kissing.

God, the kissing. Dan’s such a bloody good kisser. It makes Phil’s heart flip flop all over the place just to think of it.

It also makes his cock throb so intensely in his underwear that it becomes impossible for him not to reach down and dig the heel of his hand into it.

Big mistake, big bloody mistake. The relief of it makes his head spin.

He bites his lip, afraid to even breathe, but still he can’t stop himself from gripping himself through his pajamas and squeezing. He’s never felt this desperate. He reckons he could pump like five times and bust.

So… so maybe he should. This thing isn’t going away any time soon, not unless he takes care of it, because apparently his body hasn’t gotten the memo that he’s twenty two, not fifteen. Dan just kind of makes him feel like he’s fifteen again.

He looks over at Dan, who hasn’t moved an inch.

So he’s really going to do this. In his hormone-addled brain he really feels like he has no choice, so he reaches into his pants and pulls himself out, every movement slow and careful but his hands are shaking.

His heart pounds as his fist moves the covers with every stroke, but the fear of waking Dan up is almost immediately eclipsed by the pure carnal pleasure of pressure and friction. He was right; this isn’t going to take long at all.

In fact he’s already arching up off the bed slightly in anticipation of a truly gut punching orgasm when the bed dips a little beside him and Dan’s voice is right next to his ear. “Mate. Please put your penis away.”

Phil makes a deeply humiliating noise and his whole body jerks. “Fuck!” he squeaks.   
“Dan.” He wants to die or evaporate or pull a Kafka and turn into a giant beetle or something but then he hears the sweet sweet relief of Dan’s laugh, loud and infectious even in this, the most embarrassing moment of Phil’s life.

“Dude I’m kidding, please don’t put it away. Keep going.”

“I can’t. I’m dead. Dead people can’t wank.”

“You’re not dead,” Dan laughs. “You’re just horny.”

“Was. I was horny. Now I’m dead.” He’s hiding his head under his duvet, too afraid to face any of it.

“Well…” Dan murmurs. “I’m not dead.”

Phil’s stomach plunges. “No?” he croaks.

“Nope. I’m alive and my hands work just fine. I could… help you out?”

Phil peeks out over the top of his blanket, just enough so his eyes can make contact with Dan’s. “You don’t have to.”

“Phil.” He sounds like he thinks Phil is a moron, which is… fair. Definitely fair.

“What?” Phil asks stupidly. 

“I want to.” Dan shuffles over so their bodies are pressed together. “Like… really badly.”

“Really?”

Dan laughs. He’s so cute right now, eyes puffy from sleep and hair long as it falls across his forehead, one strand slightly curled at the end. “Yes. Please let me.”

The please is what breaks through all the bullshit in Phil’s head. He fumbles under the covers until he finds Dan’s hand and guides it to his cock, which is somehow still rock hard. He even grunts softly against his own will as Dan’s fingers brush his over sensitive skin.

“Oh my god,” Dan breathes.

“What?”

“I’m touching AmazingPhil’s dick.”

Phil snorts and leans over to bury his face in Dan’s neck. “I hate you so much.”

In the end Phil is right, it only takes a few minutes. But they’re the best few minutes of his life to date.


End file.
